Ever watched one of those funny video clips with golfers and wonder how the hell did they do that? You know the ones, standing on the edge of a water hazard about to hit the ball then the player falls in. Friends standing off to the side watching the play, only to find the ball come flying at them. About to hit a ball very close to a dangerous object, where making the shot is will see the golfer regret the decision, maybe next to a cactus. The golf cart hitting a tree or even worse in a bunker or water hazard. You can see the result before it actually happens.
They have always amused me and I have always wondered, are they just really stupid? Can’t they see what is about to happen here, or are they just unlucky. This isn’t even limited to the amateur golfer, with one professional, probably being more known on YouTube for falling on his ball than his actual playing career. By the way he is well known in the golf design business now. A pretty good one at that.
[su_youtube url=”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yl_Nny8TwNM” width=”640″ height=”360″]I now know how they feel, well partly. After a month free of playing golf, went to my local course for an early morning round. Thinking a chip or two would be handy to ensure my short game hadn’t left me, a couple of bladed shots ran through the chipping green. Who knew there was a pond sitting just off to the side. This became apparent after seeing the ball dissect the shrubs perfectly to find the bottom of this tranquil peace of real estate. Realising it was actually one of my better balls, there was clear visibility, why on earth would I leave it there? I don’t carry a ball retriever, water doesn’t exist on the course (in my mind anyway), well until now. So I grab a club to try and start raking the ball back. Oh, can’t quite reach standing up, better lay down so I can reach a bit further.
The ball is moving back nicely, but slowly. Its just a case that I can’t see it now as the murky depths have been stirred. Ok better pull my sleeve up (it was a bit chilly on this day) and reach in to try and find it. Oh my tee time is coming up at a rapid rate, better move quickly now. The arm is almost all the way in, feeling around trying to find this damn ball, getting a little frustrated now. Negative thoughts appear. Could I possibly retrieve something else beside the ball, or something retrieve me? Get those thoughts out of the head, didn’t seen any eels or other creatures around. After a minute or two blindly feeling around, I decide this is not going to work. Maybe come back after the front nine and the silt may have settled again.
[su_youtube url=”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FMyblJkLSM” width=”640″ height=”360″]In the process of getting back to my feet, I didn’t realise the wood chips around the pond could cause an issue. There goes the balance and I’m at a tipping point. In the next few seconds, the brain is going at such a pace of potential outcomes and whether this could end up as one of those YouTube viral incidents. I’d looked around before starting to retrieve the ball, seeing only two people on the 18th green. These two could be potential witnesses to this awkward event. So I feel myself starting to fall, not straight down or away from the water, but yes, towards its icy cold depths. Oh no, I’m going to end up in the middle of this soaked, cold, a laughing stock and probably not getting my game in. Knowing that if I don’t act quick, the result will be hitting the edge of the pond, with enough momentum to see me swimming with fish (can’t remember if there were actually fish in there). Rational thinking kicks in and the arm goes out straight into the water, becoming a stilt, holding the rest of the body from following in. Saved, bar the splash made causing the right shoulder to be a little soaked, and the face full of pond water which has left an awful taste in my open mouth.
Regaining my composure, I get myself back out of the pond, look around to see who has witnessed this (no one luckily), head over to the tee, hit off and never look back. YouTube I escape you. Could have kept this secret with no-one ever finding out, but you have to be able to laugh at yourself.
By the way I went back to the pond after nine holes and the ball was gone. Damn you golf ball and pond gods.
